This really hit home with me today when I was asked to help out with a little custom photoshop work to make a photo collage for a benefit that is being held this weekend for my friend. Over the years I have made countless memories from fishing, to biking, hunting, and cook outs. When we have a Christmas Eve dinner and he is not there, it's like we are missing a family member. You name it, I've done it with Gerry. He has been there my whole life, and the thought of loosing him never really dawned on me until today when I was working on the photos.
When I was asked to do the photo art, I am sure that my family did not think they were really asking anything much from me. I mean, I am a professional artist, and I do this every day for a living. Should be something that I could whip right out, and of course I could. Putting my hand to the mouse and creating art comes so naturally to me, that its almost unfair to be paid for it. So that is not what made this hard for me. The emotions that I felt while doing it is where it truly got tough for me. With all the day dreaming, and reminiscing, it must have taken me half the day to do that little 15 minute project.
As an adult I have put countless miles on my motorcycle either following Gerry or watching him in my rear view mirror. Just about anytime I have ever ridden with him, my dad has also been there. Anytime my father would ask where we were headed on the bikes, Gerry's answer would always be, "It's not the destination, it's the journey". When Pops (that's my dad's nick name) told me what he wanted the photo collage to look like, he asked me to make sure I included this saying in the artwork.
As each year passes, and The reality that my thirties are about to become nothing but memories, I am finally starting to realize the true wisdom in my friends words. In so many ways this applies to my life, so much further than where we are heading on the bikes for the day.
After spending the afternoon behind my desk, I headed home to the lake. About two and a half years ago I found a new passion that may have actually saved my life. I started training for an IronMan. I have been a runner since middle school, and I have really taken to cycling over the past couple of years, but I really developed this passion for swimming that is hard to describe. I have had quite a high stress level in my life for as long as I can remember, but there is something about open water swimming that is like meditation. I am quite sure that swimming is the reason I am no longer a high risk for a heart attack.
So, as I was cutting a wake across the 1/2 mile long lake tonight it was more time of reflection. Swimming is so rythmic and peacefull, it is just hard to explain. The troubles of the day just wash away with every stroke. It is the best way I have ever found to clear my head. So i was thinking, isn't it funny how when ever someone looses a loved one, they always say, wish there was more time to tell them how I really felt. But even when you know you friend is slipping away right in front of you, you still don't really know what to say. Of course my father is the most important man in my life, but I only hope Gerry knows what roll he has had in helping to shape me into the man that I am today.
As I train for my next battle with the mighty Ohio River at IronMan Louisville, I will savor every moment of training leading up to the race because if there is one thing my friend has taught me, it's not so much about the destination, it's much more about the journey.
I don't really think pink is Gerry's color, so when I trudge up the stairs out if the waters of the Ohio River, in Louisville and strap on to Misery (that is the name of my bicycle) she will be wearing a cammoflaged cancer ribbon in honor of my friend Gerry.
